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Big Ten Bloggers Roundtable Week 4

Hosted at Boiled Sports

1) We’re all car guys here at BS. So your task is to assign your own program a vehicle. Is Purdue an all-terrain vehicle like a Jeep or a Hummer? Something befitting a brawny Boilermaker? Is Ohio State a slow, conversion van being passed by Corvettes with USC markings? Is IU a John Deere tractor with a hillbilly riding on it? Get creative and let us know both what your school is if it’s a car as well as assigning a vehicle to as many of the other Big Ten schools as you like. (I’d require you to do them all but I know attention spans are short and counting to 11 is hard.)

Offensively, Michigan is a car that’s pretty badass, but needs a lot of fixing up in terms of replacement parts. It’s kind of new and progressive, but all the pieces aren’t put together quite right yet. Take the hot new sports car of your choice, introduce a state of disrepair, and Ta-Da! Michigan.

2) In Week 1 in the NFL, the New England Patriots learned how precious things can be when Tom Brady had his knee blown out by a former Boilermaker. Let’s say your team wins out from here to the end and is in a BCS bowl game with a chance to do the school and conference proud – what ONE player on your squad would you most likely cry about having his knee blown out in the first quarter? That is, who is truly indispensable?

Stevie Brown, obviously. In all seriousness though, this is a particularly tough question. Nobody on the offense is that indispensible, because Michigan is either feast-or-famine at every spot. At running back, Sam McGuffie is probably the offense’s most exciting and best player, but if he went down, there are other guys behind him. Steven Threet wasn’t even good enough to beat out Nick Sheridan for a starting position at the beginning of the year, so maybe the dropoff isn’t as precipitous as fans have perceived it through three games. There is virtually nobody on the offensive line, with injuries, defections, and the like. Even when one of Michigan’s best linemen, Mark Ortmann, went down, the backups filled in capably. I guess, since the quarterback position is so central to the offense, and Nick Sheridan has looked kinda crappy in his playing time, I’ll have to go with Steven Threet here.

On defense, Michigan has pretty good depth everywhere, but not good top-end talent in the back 5 (linebackers and safeties). If a defensive lineman went down, I think the backup to step in wouldn’t be a major downgrade. Michigan is already playing with a huge linebacker rotation, so if one went down, they wouldn’t be hurting to badly (though Obi Ezeh would be the most painful loss). At safety, Michigan already has a rotation of a couple guys as well, so one injury among the 3-4 co-starters means very little. I guess that leaves Morgan Trent and Donovan Warren as the most important cogs on defense, since the backups are freshmen of varying degrees (although Troy Woolfolk is technically a sophomore, he has garnered very little playing time thus far in his career). If either of the two went down, it would probably be open season for the opposing teams’ quarterbacks.

3) Purdue plays Notre Dame this week and, well, we detest Notre Dame like probably no other program. Let’s say I have the power to force you (maybe you lost a bet to me) to wear another Big Ten school’s colors to an away game for that team. That is, you’re wearing OSU colors to a game being played at Michigan, or something like that. And I’m talking, dorky, head-to-toe… goofy-ass sweatshirts and flat-brimmed, ridiculous-looking hats. If you have to choose, which program would you be able to stomach wearing? (Remember, you’re going to an away game, so people won’t like you and accept you and you’ll be taking this abuse for a school you’re not even affiliated with.) And by the same token, what program could you absolutely not EVER stomach wearing, under any circumstances?

I’m such a huge fan of college gear that I could conceivably pull this off with almost any Big Ten school (RIP my PSU sweatshirt), at least in terms of actually wearing the gear. I guess any of the lower-tier-ish programs would be fine, since the home fans would be more patronizing or pitying than anything. Therefore: I would be totally OK with wearing Northwestern gear anywhere. Schools whose gear that I really wouldn’t want to wear to an away game are those like Ohio State and Penn State, since their fans are generally assholes to visitors, and the favor would likely be returned to me.

4) I like big butts and I can not lie. Share your embarrassing guilty pleasure music selection that you know other people might laugh at. Bonus points if you can send a YouTube video of an awful music video with it. Many/most of us grew up and/or went to college in the ‘80s and ‘90s so I know you’ve all got some Nelson After The Rain on the iPod.

This song is something of a guilty pleasure, but gets major points here for having an awesome video:

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5 Comments so far

  1. Anonymous says...

    No laughter here, that song kicks ass.

  2. I know nothing says...

    Graduated in ’86, H.S. that is, and listening to that video almost makes me want to grow my ‘bi-level’ back. My kid is 12, and laughs at my mullet in the photos, and I explain that it wasn’t a mullet, damnit.

    I think Threet is more important than many believe. I have ‘heard’, that the first couple of weeks he was under the weather, and ND was the first game he felt good. I know that could be a BS story to cover bad play, but the guy who told me is not really into bs stories. This week will be very telling. I expect his play to be much better, and it will have to be if the D can’t stop UW from running downhill all day long.

  3. I know nothing says...

    And a question for readers. I need to travel up for a game with my son, and am looking at Sparty. I know Utah and Miami are not good indications, but I was hoping to grab tickets for under $85. I know alot depends on how we are doing, and if MSU is doing well I expect alot of walkup MSU fans to drive the price up, what do you think? The other option is Illinois. I took him to The Horror last year, and he has stated that if he is going to watch us lose, he would rather see us lose to a good team, meaning one he has heard of before.

  4. oriental andrew says...

    Threet is the key player on offense, imo. I have little confidence that Sheridan can sustain the level of play that Threet has displayed. Then again, that was one game. Can Threet sustain the level of play that he displayed against ND???

    As for opposing team gear, I’d probably go with Illinois because my wife (and her brothers, 4 of her cousins, et al) and several friends went there. I could probably do Iowa, too. I could NEVER do ohio state. Michigan State would be tough because I’m really just not a fan of green. ;)

    What song/video is that? Can’t view youtube from work. My guilty pleasure song would probably be Lost in Your Eyes and Only in My Dreams by Debbie Gibson. I was 12 or 13 at the time and had a bit of a crush on her. Much cuter than Tiffany, lol.

  5. Anonymous says...

    The guys missed an excellent shot at Rick-Rolling all of us, so kudos to them for not getting us. It’s AAAhaaaa, Take on me. Still pretty catchy tune. My kid has it on his I pod.

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